B is for Blood

"Review these and resubmit," Al orders.
"Review them for what?"
"I cannot accept these. Review your training materials and resubmit."
"I see no errors. Can you point me in the right direction, at least?"
"You got the training materials."
"Yes, but can you narrow it down? Is it a missing comma? A bold where there shouldn't be one? Is the data good? Is the date format wrong? I have already looked..."
"If you have questions, refer to the training material."



"Yeah, he had asked me to look at his resume. It was ten pages long," Bob says, laughing.
"Ten pages?"
"Yeah. This is his first job. Spent 23 years in the Army. Actually listed in his skills 'hand to hand combat' and '50 cal gunner.'"
"You are kidding, right?"
"Nope."
"Are those valuable skills for our department?"
"Hand to hand combat could be a resource."
"You're kidding, right?"



"I heard there will be some changes," he says.
"Like what? Do tell."
"Bill's out."
"Open season on managers."
"Yup, going to move him elsewhere."
"Shit, who is in his place?"
"Al."
"You're kidding, right?"



"You'll never believe who I just heard from!" I say.
"Who?"
"Guess, you won't believe it."
"Hmmm. Don't know."
"Numb nuts."
"Jesus."
"Guess where he is working?"
"No idea, where?"
"Guess."
"Mmmm, back in the states, is all I know."
"Key West. Went to a festival after work where no one had anything on but body paint."
"No..."
"Yes. Can you believe this? Can't do a lick of work, and they promote him and send him to Key West."
"Jesus."



It was a tough decision. You were one of the top three. But we decided to go with someone else. We know you will be successful in whatever field you are in.



"I'm leaving at the end of the month," the Pool Guy says.
"No!"
"Yeah. I can't take this anymore."
"Did you get an offer back home?"
"No. But I'll find work. I can't take this."
"Did you try to move elsewhere?"
"It is time to leave."
"Don't let them take the money from you."
"They didn't even respond to the job I tried to get. Completely ignored me, hired some guy with no experience."
"You're kidding, right?"



"What I don't want is for this information to be used against people, that is not the purpose of this," I said.
"I know, I have spoken to him about this, but he came out with an order."
"And what is with calling the TCN's lazy? We would shut down in one day if they weren't here."
"I know, I have not issued any punishment without doing my own investigation."
"This isn't right. What is going on?"
"BOE has less slots, we have to downsize."
"So this is how you do it? You take the information I generate and use it as a weapon?"
"He ordered it."
"I am not an arm of HR. I cannot have this."
"I know..."
"If they want to fire someone, then why not just monitor it. Don't use me to do this."
"He ordered me to."
"It will be impossible for me to get the information I need then! No one will talk to me if they are afraid."
"I know."
"They'll end up firing me!"
"I know..."



"Well, they are sending me home."
"Why?"
"They said I can't get on my PPE."
"Show them you can!"
"They say it doesn't matter if I show them I can, the decision has been made."
"So, they make a decision based on incorrect information, and you can't correct it? Take the jacket in there and put it on in front of them. Show them."
"They said it wouldn't matter if I could put on twelve jackets. I'm going home."
"You're kidding, right?"



"A dress code? We're in the desert. Who sees us?"
"Yes, you will have to wear a hat and a lanyard. We have to look professional."
"And a hat will do that? Why a lanyard?"
"So they can identify the company."
"What about all that stuff they say about not identifying what company you work for?"
"Military wants to know who is who."
"Why? Can't they ask? We have badges."
"You'll look great in the company hat."
"I am not wearing any hat."
"I'll have to issue disciplinary action if you refuse."
"You're kidding, right?"



"Did you drive the car yesterday?"
"No, I think Bob did."
"Do you know where he is?"
"Why?"
"Security said that he left it unlocked overnight. Did you see a slip of paper on the seat from security?"
"I haven't been out to the car. Where the hell would someone take it if they stole it, anyway? We can't go anywhere!"
"Where is Bob?"
"Trying to check out, I guess. How do you know it is our car?"
"Do you know your GP number?"
"Not right off hand...I'll ask him if he found the slip."
"No, I have to issue a warning personally."
"He's leaving today, what the hell does it matter?"
"Gotta do it so I can clear it off my list of people to verbally counsel today."
"You're kidding, right?"



"You will need to submit one report per day."
"What if we don't have one job a day?"
"You will need to submit one report per day, per person."
"You've seen our calendar!"
"If you can't, we will issue disciplinary action."
"What do you want me to do?"
"I don't care if you write up each single item on a different report, but give me one a day."
"Isn't that just creating extra paperwork?"
"One per day. You are five behind. I will need four by the close of business today or we will write you up."
"You're kidding, right?"



"Other news from the staff meeting: speeding is again an issue. If anyone is pulled over for speeding, you will be terminated on the spot."
"I thought we were on the point system. Does it matter if it is only one mile over?"
"My suggestion is to not speed. Any questions? Good. Now, for today's safety toolbox topic, we will discuss 'Coping With the Holiday Blues.'"
"Oh, Jesus..."
"Some of the ways to fight it are as follows: exercise, socialize..."
"Where? With whom?? They won't sell us shorts, and we can't go to the gym unless we have them."
"...go shopping, get together after work, go to the MWR, meet friends for a drink..."
"Shopping at the PX? Get together?? I spend twelve hours a day with these idiots. And the MWR makes me suicidal."
"Glad you brought that up. If anyone is feeling suicidal, please contact EAP."
"Go for a drink? Half my problem is that I can't go for a drink! Who thinks up this shit?"
"Comes from corporate safety."
"You're kidding, right?"


"We can't turn this in this way."
"Why not?"
"Because it is too honest."
"How can we fix a problem if we can't say there is one?"
"We can't turn this in this way."



"You ladies will be happy to know that they have made the decision to allow you to not wear the company hat, so it won't mess up your hair."
"Thank God for small miracles..."
"Hey, that's discrimination," SP says. "I'm filing a complaint with EEO."
"You're kidding, right?

Bye Big Daddy

Fleeting, friendships are in a war zone. Tenuous, merely existing for as long as they are convenient for The Company. People are tossed about, scattered to the wind. Each day, we are supposed to feel lucky. Lucky to participate in this travesty. Lucky to be alive. Just lucky. They tell us to feel lucky.

Those with whom I have laughed, those I have shared my life with, bonded with, cried with...they float before me in my mind. Emotional ties are without purpose here. This is work, they say, and it is always different, it must be calculated in the best interest of The Company. To them, the people here are just bodies, here to produce. When they cannot, they are sent away, without regard, without emotion, often without so much as a goodbye. We know that when we arrive: that we can disappear at any time, that we live in a world exclusive of obligation.

Yet to me, the passage of time in this land has only made our fleeting bonds more poignant. We are the sum of our hopes and dreams; each struggling in this strange place, crying in our beds alone at night; wishing we were elsewhere yet completely unable to leave. What we never noticed is that while we were so busy hating it, it became home. And we rise each morning, faithfully filled with misguided purpose, numbly grasping the remaining fabric of our dreams, wondering if today will be our last, wondering how much strength it will take to get through one more day.

They arrive early in the morning, suitcases in hand, dragging fifty pounds of flak jacket and helmet behind them through the moondust. Sometimes they leave the next day. Sometimes they stay a while. Sometimes they seek me out, looking for connection, looking for answers without so much as being able to form the questions. Sometimes they talk of lives long abandoned back home...the children and wives left behind to fend for themselves. Sometimes they let me see the hurt in their eyes: the tattered relationships, the bankruptcies, the illnesses. Sometimes they admit how broken they are, as they see the look of recognition flash in my eyes. There is a common thread with us all. One that weaves us carelessly together, bound by proximity and the dusty trail of our own failures.

It does no good to cry anymore. Yet I cannot seem to stop.

Bye for now, my friend.

Sinking

Lonely Sinking Feeling
Cowboy Junkies


She says, "I'm getting that lonely sinking feeling,
you know what I mean?"
With his hand on her back he's thinking,
"Where does that leave me?"
Just when I think I've uncovered the secret
to peace and tranquility
that lonely sinking feeling creeps up on me

He says, "I'm seeing those doubt filled
questioning eyes
and I can't believe it's true"
With her head in her hands she sighs,
"It's me, not you"

Just when I thought that I'd discovered the joy
of loving one so completely
that lonely sinking feeling creeps up on me

Here in this silent room we wait on ancient ritual
Staring at our hearts
as if they were two caged animals
If I am the first to unlock those rusty doors
will I be the first found bleeding on the floor?

She says, "I'm getting that lonely sinking feeling,
you know what I mean?"
With his hand on her back he's thinking,
"Where does that leave me?"

Just when I think I've uncovered the secret
to peace and tranquility
that lonely sinking feeling creeps up on me

Just when I thought that I'd discovered the joy
of loving one so completely
that lonely sinking feeling creeps up on me
that lonely sinking feeling creeps up on me